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Sax93

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I am a girl of 22 years who is studying to be a nurse on a daily basis … 

There is a small difference between yours and my life and that the fact that I have paranoid schizophrenia, which I’m battling with every day.
Since I was little I could always hear voices and was very paranoid, afraid that some people would hurt me.
As I grew older my symptoms got worse and I ended up going to a psychiatrist, who after a lot of interviews told me that I have the diagnose paranoid schizophrenia, and that I’ll probably always have some of my symptoms.
As time has passed by I’ve gotten used to my voice and my paranoia, and all the other symptoms I have, and can live with them. But I, like all other people have good and bad periods in life, and currently my paranoid “I” have taken over and control my thoughts.
Due to this I have decided to make a small clip that can give a little insight into how it is for me to be paranoid in my bad periods.
[link]
When I go on the street and I’m paranoid, I believe that all people are looking at me and can read my mind, and therefore I’m very afraid to go out, imagine if they do not like what I think.
What if they get angry about it and therefore choose to hurt me.?

Every time my hair touch my arms/shoulders, I think it is someone that is going to take me to do something hurtful against me - even though I know it’s not right, I can not help thinking that way.
I try to rationalize my thoughts , although it is not easy. - I know it is a struggle for life, but it is a fight I will fight and win!
- Remember that not all feel the same way as me, this is an individual report -

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MY LIFE AS PARANOID SCHIZOPHRENIC by Sax93, journal